The Search for Peace and Quiet
by CrazyGirl47
Summary: A parody of Day of the Dino, because no one is more fun to parody than Tommy.  General crackfic, not meant to offend anyone, etc.  Review!
1. Just Tommy's Luck

**The Search for Peace and Quiet**

_By CrazyGirl47_

_Author's Notes:_ Just a parody of "Day of the Dino" for fun. First bit isn't my favorite, though. Might do a few more episodes of Dino Thunder; not sure yet.

_Shameless Plug:_ I'm also doing a parody of "Day of the Dumpster." Oh, and _**read OLaB!**_

_Rating:_ Teen, more because I like the freedom than because I think it'll get any worse than K.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Power Rangers, which should be obvious because it would take a very bored Disney executive to sit around writing fanfiction, and bored Disney executives probably just go play golf or throw darts at a Mickey Mouse dartboard or something…

* * *

Tommy raced down the stairs, absolutely furious. Once again, he found himself running for dear life. "Sure," he grumbled to himself. "Become a paleontologist. _Much_ safer than race-car driving. Smooth move, Tommy." 

Down the hall. Past a stack of barrels labeled with the Mercer Industries logo.

"Couldn't just get on the helicopter with the other sane employees," he continued irritably. "No, no, Tommy has to go back. Tommy has to get the Dino Gems. Tommy has to make sure Anton is really missing, and not just left behind. Tommy has to save the day. Tommy has to doom himself to a fiery death."

Around the corner. Up some more stairs.

"Tommy has to spend twenty minutes searching for the fourth Dino Gem because he can't for the life of him remember where he put it. Tommy has to spend another five minutes trying to figure out how to shut off a self-destruct sequence that was built by someone as smart as Billy. Tommy has to fight Tyrannodrones with oven mitts on his hands because he wasn't about to pick up the Gems with his bare hands just in case they got any funny ideas about bonding with his DNA. It's _Martha Stewart Living_ meets _Jurassic Park."_

Shaking his head, Tommy leaped over the last staircase and hurtled down another corridor, hoping this one actually led to the outdoors. No chance of getting off the island if he couldn't even get out of the building.

"My boss is missing, I've only got three of the four Gems, I'm about to be burned to a crisp by a self-destruct sequence that we were stupid for installing in the first place, I can't find the secret escape tunnel, and my Zeonizer's at home in my sock drawer. Great."

At last, Tommy burst out of the door and emerged into bright sunlight. Trees and plants were everywhere; Anton had tried to leave the jungle-like plant life as undisturbed as possible when setting up shop on the island, which was going to make Tommy's escape much more difficult.

Tommy started running flat-out for the cliffs. Any luck, he'd miss the sharp rocks surrounding the island and live to swim to shore. Or, rather, he'd miss the sharp rocks and live to drown while trying to swim to shore. Or to get eaten by sharks; he was pretty bruised, and it wouldn't surprise him to realize he'd cut himself somewhere along the way.

Trees and branches slapped at his face and body. Roots did their best to trip him. And all around him were disconcerting hissing sounds that were hopefully Tyrannodrones, but probably something even worse. He should have known better than to help build the damned things. It was just that most villains he'd run across had created their own army of mindless minions, rather than stealing his. But, then, this _was_ the first time he'd started building his own army, which might explain the lack of prior attempts… although come to think of it, Rita and Zedd were always using the craziest stuff for inspiration, from trophies to traffic lights, and they did like turning Rangers evil…

Clearing ahead. Tommy knew better than to run out into the open while being chased by creatures, as it made him easier to spot and easier to surround. He also knew that he had less than five minutes to get his ass off the island before he was definitely dead, as opposed to probably dead. Bad idea or not, he needed a shortcut to the water before the fires started.

Tommy burst into the clearing… and was immediately set upon by the lizard-like Tyrannodrones. He was surprised—and a little disconcerted—to note that he was still very good at fighting off monsters.

"Knew I'd end up doing this nonsense again one day," Tommy growled as he broke free and continued to run, grimacing as the Dino Gems in his pocket banged against him. At last, he reached the edge of the island—or, rather, he nearly fell right off of it.

Tommy started to back up to get a running start… but then the first of the major explosions started. Self-destruct sequence had finally begun. Knowing he had very little chance of jumping far enough out to save his own ass, he leaped.

Fire exploded behind him. The force of pressure wave from the blast threw him even further out to sea. So that was a good thing. Plus the water would probably extinguish any flames that had caught on his clothing. He might actually make it until the sharks came, after all.

Deep breath, and suddenly he was underwater. Way underwater. He didn't bother coming straight up for air; he swam out as far as he could beneath the surface, not wanting to get hit by any burning debris (because _that_ would just make his day). Finally he resurfaced, just in time to see the island begin to sink beneath the water.

"Great," Tommy muttered. "Now I'm unemployed, too."

With a sigh, Tommy turned and started swimming. Hopefully the Coast Guard would notice that an island was missing before too long, and he wouldn't have to swim all the way to shore.

Now that he thought about it, though, he kind of hoped some sharks _would_ show up. After the day he'd just had, he could go for a few rounds of scientist against nature.

But he didn't think he was really all that lucky.

* * *

_End Notes:_ I always hear people saying that Tommy jumped way too far from the cliff without a running start in "Day of the Dino, Part 1" and I just wanted to throw in a line pointing out that the explosion probably would have given him a little more distance and singed his lab coat. Anyway, review or bust! 


	2. Nice and Normal

Chapter Two 

Some years later—no one was quite sure how many years, because the timeline had to be blown all to hell in order for Tommy to get a degree in paleontology, become a licensed teacher, and do a few secret mad science experiments between 1997 and 2003—Tommy found himself just outside the gates of Reefside High School.

"Nice place," he muttered. "Nice, normal town. No chance of ending up a Ranger way out here."

Tommy headed into the building. Before he could get far, a woman with short black hair appeared at his side. She was wearing no-nonsense glasses and an all-business business suit and carrying a black binder. "Dr. Tommy Oliver."

Tommy jumped slightly and almost kicked her ass, but he caught himself and recovered quickly. This was obviously a nice, normal woman. Not an evil villain.

"Hi," he offered.

"I'm Principal Randall."

"Oh, _hi!"_ Ah, his boss. Definitely not someone he wanted to attack. So pretty soon he'd have to have a discussion with her about sneaking up on him. "It's your first day, too, isn't it?"

"Yes—"

"So how exactly did you know who I was?"

"Lucky guess. Now—"

"What, have you been randomly accusing people of being me all morning?"

She frowned. "Let's not talk about that. Old Mrs. Barton's still upset."

"Ah."

"Anyway…" Randall started leafing through pages in the binder she was carrying. "Just out of curiosity, why would a doctor of paleontology want to come all the way out here to Reefside and teach teenagers?"

"Well, I noticed your high school science program kind of sucks. I mean, you don't even split the classes into things like biology, chemistry, and physics. It's all in a lump like junior high or elementary school science, so I figured it'll be way easier than a real high school."

Randall bristled. "Could you give me a less insulting reason, please? Quickly, before I fire your ass?"

"Guess I'm looking for some peace and quiet," Tommy blurted out. He had to stop himself from laughing at his little private joke, and the effort made him look like he was about to barf on her shoes.

Randall regarded him critically. "So you became a high school teacher. That doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, now, does it, Dr. Oliver?"

"I didn't say I actually expected to find any. It was a wishful-thinking sort of thing. My buddy Jason says I'm in denial. I say denial isn't necessarily a bad thing."

Randall sighed. "You're not going to make my life any easier, are you."

"Probably not," he told her apologetically. "You know, I was thinking. Maybe we should get together later. Have dinner. Maybe some drinks. Maybe some long walks on the beach in the moonlight and a little skinny-dipping."

She stared at him. "Skinny-dipping?"

"Yeah. In a professional sort of way. More of a business meeting, of course. That way you can fill me in on what you expect of me and how I can become an _outstanding_ teacher." Tommy waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Oh, that's easy. Make it hard on them. Painful if possible. Whips, chains, maybe thumbscrews. Go all out."

Tommy cleared his throat. "Um, well, I'm not really into bondage. Too many bad memories."

Randall rolled her eyes. "Fine, but if they smile, you're fired. Now, I'm off to find my first truant. We'll talk later."

"And skinny-dip, right?" Tommy called after her hopefully. She didn't reply. Sighing, Tommy turned and tried to remember what his room number was.

Three different bells rang, though Tommy wasn't sure what they were supposed to mean. What he'd thought was his wristwatch turned out to be one of his old communicators, so he actually had no idea what time it was and was unable to determine if the bells meant he was late (probably) or if they were just ringing for the hell of it.

The halls began to empty after the third clanging faded away. A few students were making a mad dash for their first class, but most had already vanished. Wondering just how late he'd be this time, Tommy rushed off.


End file.
